The Writing
©2002,2003, 2004, 2005 Chris Francz
Just Out of Reach... added 2/5/05/05
A Different Life (Scenes from a play script in progress) added 1/16/05
Fall for you.
Unexpected (Don't Leave Me Now)
Taming a Dead Lion.
West.
Flight (4:45 a.m.)
Your Teeth Will Turn Into Daggers (Pessimistic Me).
Closure.
October Autumn (5:46pm).
November.
Title.
Tonite.
Cupid.
In Reply to All Those Who Attended:
The Five Year Plan.
You Can't Imagine How Much I Want to See You.
Unfettered.
The Fourteenth.
Untitled 5/5/02.
Star Gazing.
The Gentlemen Lost Another Outrageous Track Bet (Again).
Autumn Fire.
Forever Night.
New Jersey Landscape.
February 2, 2002.
May 22, 2002.
Closure.
Stopped by the hospital tonite
to get used to you gone
walked up to the waiting room
to get used to you gone
sat down w/ a cup of coffee
to get used to you gone
pulled out this pen and pad
to get used to you gone
went back to the room where you died
you weren't there...
I cried.
October Autumn (5:46pm).
Told the cat I was going to m's
and I'd be back soon
if I just drive over
closing my eyes as hard as I can
and pretend that none of it really
happened
you'll be there
you'll be there when I knock twice and
open the door and walk in
white house with corn stalks and pumpkins
on the porch
mid-fall evening
dinner almost on the table and
Christmas right around on the corner.
November.
Black bird
high
against the
cold
gray
November
sky -
watch
me
fly
away.
Title.
Silent invisible trolls open
the doors
the June night air like the breath of a
blast furnace hits my face
sterile cool air still chills my skin
then subsides
northern hemisphere
feels like the tropics
I spy Capella - NW
and I look over my shoulder and
look up at those rooms and
the dim yellow glow through the
tinted glass and
I can't see yours but I know you're
in one like them
and half-way through the parking lot
I begin choking
choking on misplaced feelings
and self-pity
and you-pity
and they-pity
and I don't want the choking to stop
because it's a sign that I'm alive
and I feel I should be glad of that
but not quite sure why.
8/9/02
Tonite.
On a dragons wing
I circle the city
slow round circles
just grazed by the building tops
and lit by the pale yellow glow
crimson scales below me are hard
but comforting assuring
we sail listening to the sounds
and watching the
liars lovers and thieves
walking driving embracing
we're strangers
but closest of friends all the same.
Cupid.
Cupid little Cupid you've lost your little mind
your arrows have gone astray and gotten so hard to find
Cupid little Cupid your aim once so refined
your quiver now rests empty and just as well - you're blind.
In Reply to All Those Who Attended:
Suffer me the imperfect plan
and let me die a shallow death that
conjures not sermons
of divine plots.
Say:
Here he walked
here he dropped
burden him not with
funeral roses
wet with tears
and idle talk of
Righteous Pathways.
Say:
Here he lived
here he died
who's to make more of it?
(published in Smorgasbord, issue number one)
The Five Year Plan.
In my exasperation
I set my destination
for a far away constellation
I know it's just a substitution
borne of desparation
but in this thick alienation
I have no room for moderation.
You Can't Imagine How Much I Want to See You.
(Philadelphia, Feb. 2002)
Drinking cup after cup of coffee that's not
lightened properly as if
I could drink myself to you
as if coffee would somehow make you want me
and I just keep drinking because there's not
much else to do when your mother is getting
operated on for eight hours except go back and forth
to the vending machine for lousy coffee and they
don't give you a lid so it gets cold fast
and I try to tell myself you're feeling the same and wanting
to see me
holding onto signs any signs from a year ago from a few
weeks ago
thinking that if you see me at work you'd want to
reach out and grab my hand
and not say a word just hold onto my hand
and it would probably be all sweaty because it was so
nervous and we'd be wordless but saying so much
and I'd rather be five miles or even two from you than one hundred
if that makes any sense anyway
hurry up clock don't hold me prisoner
she needs me and your hands are twisting the knife that
happily bleeds her name and I am so dead and feeling so alive
and I just want to be home and nearer to someone who is one million miles away in more senses than one.
Unfettered.
You went your way that hot June day
We never did get to say goodbye
Ten thousand sparrows ushered you
Far above the darkened sky
Earthen cords made by men
Can no longer hold you down
You gave your very heart your life
For an ageless Golden Crown
Be it late goodbye goodbye farewell to you
Goodbye goodbye adieu
My eyes will scan the horizon now
For the sparrows that will return me to you.
The Fourteenth.
Where has the sun gone?
Hidden from sight forever
Brown river painfully deepens
I on the shore water shallowing never
One step two step three step
More than wading in to quench the fire
Clouds contents surround
Sun still hides foot deeper in the mire
Joyfully for one last breath
An outstretched limb before
Reaching for a loved one's hand
Water quickly rising o'er.
The Death of Hermann Goring.
Hermann Goring was a Nazi
He was captured and put in prison
He knew he would be put to death after his trial
He wanted to be shot
But he knew he would be hung
He did not want this to happen
Someone snuck him a cyanide capsule and he took it
Not many people have
Three methods of death
On their mind
At one time.
Untitled 5/5/02.
We stand in the twilights field middle
The suns last glow red orange crimson
And everything is camouflage and burnt yellow
And olive
And their gasoline hearts beat overhead
Arms slicing air violently spotlights trained
Autumn leaves dry grass caught in whirlwinds
Rising all around us and our mouths move
But no sounds come out
And the gasoline hearts with their beating arms
Pumping air furiously...demon drums
We can't run spotlight trained
The violence in the sky is a halo of evil
And we pull hip to hip
And lip to lip
Hands in hair
Damn the beasts
We have our heaven - our eternity.
Star Gazing.
Plastic
rubber
thin metal wires
like little black snakes
connected to a field of green stars
that tell the story of your life
since two Fridays ago
and I've never used the word hopeless
since then
no reason to feel shame
just squeeze my hand
when you hear my voice.
The Gentlemen Lost Another Outrageous Track Bet (Again).
O what clever little delusions
the heart can weave on it's crimson loom when
searching for love
so I say...
damn the needle and
damn the thread and
damn the poor little lamb that
was stripped of it's cloak for
my sake.
Autumn Fire.
See my hands
my feet
my heart?
There were once crimson strings attached that
extended beyond the clouds and stars
I've clipped them
and now I lay upon the stage
limbs like autumn leaves
heart drier
what was once alive is now
dead
put your fingers to my throat
put the glass in front
see?
Now carry me out to the fire
and throw me on.
Forever Night.
Pull your flesh against me
and let your heart melt into mine
save me from this forever night
with your sweetness angel-like almost divine
the snow outside will never stop falling
so let's create a light
I in you and you in me
one tiny candle against forever night.
New Jersey Landscape.
Smoke drifts from a worn red brick chimney
cuts and then integrates itself with the pale blue
mid-December sky all around it.
February 2, 2002.
Sure -
I'll come over after work
I'll be there by six
maybe quarter of
okay for dinner
sure -
I'll bring some new drawings
mom -
don't forget to tell me some things -
don't forget to tell me that it'll be
the last time I'll ever smell your homemade bread
that I'll ever drink a cup of coffee with you over
a piece of warm pie
don't forget to tell me mom
that it'll be the last time I'll ever
see you stand in the porch light waving
to me as I
drive away into the night
(I'll always beep twice)
don't forget to tell me mom
please don't forget...
May 22, 2002.
Despair you -
in vain thy thunder
cold-hearted culprit
lacking in wonder
tend to your fire
while an ember remains
for in moves the spring
and with it the rains.
Your Teeth Will Turn Into Daggers (Pessimistic Me).
It's hard to keep your footing
when you're walking on a cloud
so just do it get it over with
and let me come back down
the air up here is hard to breathe
and the sun it burns my eyes
(and we both know)
the smile that you're drawn to today
will become the one that you despise.
Flight (4:45 a.m.)
Ten thousand sparrows
dot the new dawn skies
darkness breaks to light
and you open your eyes
no ground below you
and only Heaven above
brush aside the angel's wing
and give me one more look of love.
<
West.
The eyes are quick
but not as fast
as the heart
rests on it's envies last
fleeting the love
and fleeting the care
bring heat to the blood
and shortness of air
but don't ask when tomorrow
ask the when today
what is fastened at the moment
may the next be gone astray.
Taming a Dead Lion.
With a knot in my stomach
I avoided your eyes
wanting to see them all the same
what's going on behind them?
do you even remember my name?
I would not chance
to steal a glance
and break this little game
this elegant dance
this non-romance
a dead lion has been tamed.
Unexpected (Don't Leave Me Now)
Without realizing it at first -
I drove away from your house slowly
as if to slow down the process of
leaving your presence. Sun just licking
the top of the mountains with orange...
rear window still covered with night
dew. Autumn is in bloom and I
would like just one more hug but I
can't turn back.
Fall for you.
The silent hum of
late autumn -
gray sky - blue sky
copper dusk glow
with hot coffee -
last brown leaves
hold on as
hints of Christmas grow -
loneliness.
Save me before the
first snow.
Toss a cigarette on the
ground and watch it
glow.
A Different Life (scenes from a play script in progress)
Scene:
Man: “Arthur, it’s called ‘the thrill of winning’!”
Arthur: “I’m more acquainted with the thrill of losing.”
Man: “What?”
Arthur: “Winning brings questions. Losing is easier to handle. I can cope with losing.”
Man: ”Why are you always so negative, Arthur?”
Arthur: “It’s not being negative. It’s reality. Reality is losing. If you win, great but winning is unlikely.
Losing is more reality-based. I choose to live in reality.”
Scene:
Arthur: "You have a very good taste in envelopes."
Woman: "What?"
Arthur: "Well, I see you buy name brand envelopes. That's very important.
I've tried cheaper envelopes and the glue never sticks."
Woman: "What are you talking about?"
Arthur: "You lick the flap but it never stays firmly shut. When you buy name brand
envelopes like you bought you have the peace of mind knowing that
your envelope will stay firmly shut until it reaches it's destination.
That's very important."
Woman: "Are you nuts or something? You scare me."
Arthur: "What do you mean am I nuts?"
Woman: "You think too much."
Arthur: "I was complimenting you. That doesn't make me nuts. Using good, quality envelopes
is very important."
Woman: "And you're nuts."
Just Out of Reach...
My butterfly
against the cold gray sky
hindered in flight
by the winter rain
overcast in sight
and pulsing with pain.